Marriage rates have declined almost 60 percent since 1970, the lowest rates in over a century. A common assumption has been that a decline in the number of marriages may correlate with an incline in the quality (measured in longevity) of marriages, though delving into the data shows that isn’t the case. Forty-two percent of first marriages, 63 percent of second marriages, and 70 percent of third marriages end in divorce, indicating that the more we marry, the less we know how to stay married. Engagement ring sales are down, and wedding-related companies have been downsizing or shutting down completely.
Confirmed bachelors like to make this a gender issue, citing statistics like 70 percent of divorces being initiated by women (90 percent when women are college-educated) and 98 percent of the $13 billion a year of alimony recipients being women. But the trend has been equalizing with high-net-worth women including Mary J. Blige, Adele, Kelly Clarkson and others paying alimony to their ex-spouses. Prenuptial agreements are often at risk of being disregarded since courts often look for signs that a person signed a prenuptial agreement under duress.
Men and women experience an increased likelihood of divorce as their number of premarital sexual partners increases. So, I’d challenge that the decline in marriage rates is not a gender-based issue but rather a finance-based issue: the likelihood (and subsequent impact) of divorce makes marriage a relatively poor financial decision. Enter Florida, Texas and Tennessee.
Florida has ended permanent alimony, with people married for less than three years not being eligible for any alimony and people married for over 20 years being eligible to receive alimony for up to 75 percent of the marriage term. Other factors are considered in the final determination of alimony awarded, though some see this as a step toward making marriage more viable by taking some of the financial stings out of divorce.
Texas is considering legislation putting an end to no-fault divorce. For context, a no-fault divorce requires neither party to assign blame or prove fault in divorce. Although no-fault divorce often simplifies the divorce process by making it quicker and less adversarial, critics argue that no-fault divorce makes it too easy to get divorced impulsively and/or without proper consideration. Similar proposals to Texas are being considered by Louisiana and Nebraska.
Tennessee has proposed protecting parents from paternity fraud by mandating DNA tests before birth certificates are officially validated. This helps ensure that child support expectations are directed at the appropriate parties. Marriage and children often go hand-in-hand; thus, so too do alimony and child support in divorce cases.
Making divorce less accessible and less of a financial risk may have the unintended effect of increasing marriage rates. As it stands, many current and prospective high-net-worth individuals view marriage as an illogical pursuit, though few deny the benefits of meaningful companionship. Beyond the emotional satisfaction and joy that comes from being married to the one you love, quantifiably measurable benefits include better mental and physical health, longer life expectancy, and higher rates of general happiness (including optimism, creativity, confidence, sociability, willingness to compromise, etc.) Suicide rates are lowest among married people and highest among divorced people.
Divorce reform on a national scale could help us muster the courage to take a leap of faith into the arms of our soulmates. A mentor of mine would say that love isn’t supposed to be logical, but we may now be reaching a tipping point as a nation where the expression of commitment through marriage is becoming less about love and more about an impending transfer of wealth with lucrative divorces being incentivized over loving marriages.
Some suggest that the institution of marriage is already beyond saving, attempting otherwise may prove futile and unfruitful. For every proponent of national divorce reform, there are opponents. Keeping legislation as-is could further contribute to the loneliness epidemic that has resulted in 63 percent of young men being single and data predicting that 45 percent of women under the age of 45 will be single and childless by 2030. Proposals to change legislation to address the aforementioned have been met with vehement opposition from those who stand to benefit from the status quo, resulting in relative ambiguity as to what happens next, if anything at all.
